A Fly Under the Radar, William McCartney

This book should have come with a warning - I mean a blurb that simply said 'Lawyers, drugs, deaths, and sneakiness, in New Zealand.' just doesn't cut it. 

It should have mentioned:

• Shouldn't be read in public unless you want people to think you're having a breakdown;
• Definitely shouldn't be read if you're planning a serious and earnest career in the law;
• Might not necessarily reflect the reality of the practice of law in New Zealand (that one's more of fervent hope than a warning);
• Will make you laugh at the MOST inappropriate things;
• Don't climb any ladders to fiddle with any smoke alarms whilst reading.

The story revolves around Van Stilton, lawyer to FatMan (aka Fred Turner) whom he came across one Sunday morning in 2019. An odd phone call that included a hint: 

'I have said nothing thus far.'

Thus?

Leading to the introduction to the reader (not Stilton) of his junior, a baby lawyer referred to as Grasshopper. I'll leave you to work out the implications.

The story evolves. Fatman is in a spot of bother over cocaine dealing, Stilton is in a spot of bother trying to get his client out of a tricky position, Grasshopper is hanging on to the wildest ride of her life. Potential jurors are being assessed:

The first six were unremarkable. The seventh a large blonde woman who looked like she hadn't even considered the brooking of any kind of nonsense since 1974.

The story gets madder, the action gets crazy, the potential for serious jail time switches around, Fatman gets into trouble, Stilton finds himself even deeper in the potential mire and Grasshopper, well she hangs onto the wildest ride of her life.

And I laughed more than I should have at what is essentially a criminal ride of excess, death, a bit of gore and a ladder. Oh and at passages like this:

The judge gave her decision immediately. She began by stating the facts of the search as she had determined them to be. Then she considered the wording of section 30 of the Evidence Act, and gave due regard to previous decisions by the Court of Appeal as to how section 30 should be applied. Then she undertook an overall balancing process, giving approximate weight to the impropriety of the search, but also taking proper account of the need for an effective and credible system of justice that would not easily let offenders avoid the consequences of their actions. Eventually, she came down in favour of the side that had not said that her head was up her arse.

More please.